Divorce is unplanned and unexpected. It is hard, likely one of the hardest things you can go through. As much as your body carries, it is no wonder that it also reacts to the circumstances. Anxiety, racing thoughts, sleepless nights, and panic attacks can come in full force if you have never dealt with them before.
You may struggle to fall asleep, reminiscing about a conversation at three in the morning. Or find yourself wandering the grocery store aisles, trying to quiet a pounding heart that came out of nowhere. These are signs that your nervous system is reacting to something very real and may be waving a flag for help.
The Anxiety Makes More Sense Than You Think
Divorce completely turns your picture of reality upside down. Your financial status changes, your home moves, parenting dynamics shift to accommodations and negotiations, and your social circle ends up taking sides. It can be a lot to carry all at once.
Uncertainty is a main driver of anxiety, and divorce hands you a good deal of it from every direction. Your brain cannot tell the difference between physical threats and your life unwinding from divorce, so it sounds the alarm with either. No matter how it feels, anxiety is a rational response to the upheaval that you are experiencing, even if it feels completely irrational.
Recognizing a Panic Attack
The first time a panic attack hits, it can feel terrifying. Your heart races and your breathing becomes shallow. You may feel dizziness or an overwhelming sense of dread. Any of these things can be reminiscent of a medical condition, so it is never a bad idea to consult with a doctor to rule anything out.
Panic attacks are a real response to prolonged stress. In most circumstances, they peak in about ten minutes and ease on their own. No matter how much you mentally prepare, it will not stop the next one from happening.
Grounding Tools You Can Use in the Moment
When your anxiety escalates, and the uncertainty fuels it, having something concrete to steady yourself can help.
- Slow exhales, longer than inhales, signal to your body that the danger has passed
- Checking in with the five senses, acknowledging things you can see, hear, touch, smell, and taste in your immediate surroundings, will ground you in the present
- Cold water splashed on your wrists or face can bring your mind back in
- Short walks give your adrenaline somewhere to go
- Confiding in a trusted person reinforces the idea that you are not alone in your struggle
Grounding tools do not erase anxiety, but they do give you a way to focus your attention on something else until the hard part passes.
Bouncing Back After the Worst of It
Divorce asks things of you long after the crisis is over. Sleeping and eating habits are generally the first things affected. Motivation to exercise lessens. These changes also aid anxiety’s presence.
Protect your self-care habits, even when it feels like an uphill battle and motivation is lacking. Prioritize a routine bedtime to ensure quality of sleep and prevent brain fog. Move your body in some fashion each day to help regulate stress hormones. Let yourself grieve so you can start processing your feelings and keep moving forward.
Divorce Has Nothing to Do With Your Worth
No matter what you feel during and after your divorce, it does not reflect your worth as a person. A marriage ending does not make you any less valuable. Divorce is a genuine loss, and struggling with it means you are human.
If anxiety or panic attacks have become part of this season of life, working with someone can help, whether that means the practical side of separating or making sense of it for your family. Our marriage and couples counseling services are here for whatever you need. Reach out to learn how we can support you.